About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
