Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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