Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
