She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
