where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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