Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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