White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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