My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
