Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
