and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
