and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
