I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
