He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dicks are not precious.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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