She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
