I CAN MOONWALK!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
