hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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