are you still at the devil's house?
Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
