Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
