Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
