What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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