We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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