keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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