Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Buhtt sex?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
