Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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