So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
And then my night got REAL pukey
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
