First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
