our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
