Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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