Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
