Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
