I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
