ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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