in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
