Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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