rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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