well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
