I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This house was built for laser tag.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
not ubering you a puppy
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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