we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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