Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
