Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
