Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
