barbara walters just said penis...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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