I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
