Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
