did you get engaged???
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
