Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
