I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
