I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
