whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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