Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
