your thong is hanging out like whoa
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
