Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
