There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
