I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
